Saturday, December 8, 2007

Stir gently... explosions else

I very much need a break. One is in sight... but not here yet.

I'm at a loss on something. Could be just emotions, could be real. I am not well able to judge at the moment.

I do not want to spend 8 hours at work tomorrow. I don't feel well, and I'm not sure how well I'm going to feel in the morning, but I don't know that I can manage that and then still have enough energy for our Ministry Team Christmas party.

Life is a lot of work right now. It is hard, and in many ways not rewarding.

Faith ofttimes entails - indeed, at some level is - a pressing on despite a lack of visible accomplishment for one's efforts. True faith is pressing on in the works that God has set before us though we see no hint of fruit. I have a long distance to go before I attain that kind of faith.

I love my job as an RA. Sometimes, however, I wish I could simply take it off - because anytime I am on campus (and sometimes when I am not), it is there: an invisible but ever-present weight settled inconspicuously about my shoulders. Not heavy enough to cause me to fall: but heavy enough to wear down my reserves of strength and endurance.

I am tired. I am weary. I rejoice in this: that Christ is my shtrength, my song, the joy of my salvation. I am contented in knowing that His grace is sufficient for me, because His power is perfected in weakness. It is in these times when I have the least to give that He shines brightest.

Oh for the courage to let myself be ever this weak, and indeed weaker: to be able to fall completely into His strength and trust Him to the uttermost!

Grace and peace be with you....
- Chris


  1. From your previous post once removed: "I have, of late, pondered much and written little. There has not been time: or, more properly, there has not been time made."

    Chris ... there are only 24 hours in a day ... that is not enough time to "make time" for everything we want to in this life. It's not a matter of making time for everything ... it's a matter of making choices and moving on.

    I hope you're feeling better ... let us know if you need anything.

  2. You wrote:
    "Life is a lot of work right now. It is hard, and in many ways not rewarding."

    Son, I hate to break it to you, but this is pretty much how much of life goes. That doesn't mean it is without enjoyment. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something.


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