Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Lessons learned... and pudding

If, dear reader, you wonder why I have not posted in so very long - 8 days, in fact! - then I have something of a story for you. If you wonder no such thing, then you're simply going to have to content yourself with reading anyway, in the hope that I'll says something informative, edifying, or at least mildly amusing.

10 days ago, my wife and I were in Colorado on a short trip for a wedding. Midway through that trip, I began feeling somewhat less than optimal - by which I mean, I sat around most of that day feeling barely better than miserable. That, luckily, was not our traveling day. On our traveling day, I only had minor dizzy spells and a medium headache. Come Monday, however, all of those symptoms were worsening. I, being a daring master of the fates, not to mention still unused to have personal allowance time at work, toughed it out and trudged through my day. I was miserable.

Being stubborn, I proceeded to do the same again on Tuesday. I've been accused of possessing above average intelligence, but I can find no trace of anything in my behavior to suggest the accusation to be anything but the basest sort of falsehood.

Wednesday, heeding the wise counsel of my wife, I stayed home and promptly spent the day feeling miserable again, but with a good book and nary a glance at the computer screen. It turns out that staring at a screen - especially one at a bad angle and under bad lighting - tends to significantly worsen headaches. Over the course of the remainder of the week, I read several thousand pages of fiction, which was splendid, however unproductive. By early this week, I was feeling much better, and was able to go work without feeling like a walking corpse. Lesson learned: remember the value of personal leave and heed my wife's wise advice!

In the meantime, I managed to suffer yet another catastrophe. This one, I'm thankful to say, was not of my own making. Thursday night, you see, is date night for Jaimie and me. Every week we make a point to do something special that evening - a pleasant dinner out and a movie, or a candlelit meal and long talks and cuddling, or any number of things, but always a date.

This is harder to pull off when you have the flu.

We decided it was to be pizza and a movie - in. Best not to spread the dreadful contagion. A woeful decision. As we returned from picking up the pizza - no paying delivery fees for us that night! - we were struck from behind. Some basic math will help you get the picture: 1984 Chevrolet pickup truck + 2005 Hyundai Elantra = CRUNCH. And the truck won and my neck lost: cursed transfer of momentum resulted in a little thing they call whiplash. My wife's poor car ("La Bomba," in case you were wondering... she names the cars, not me) is once again in the shop, with the back bumper, . (If you don't know the story, it involves scenes from an action movie and sleepless nights. Seriously.) The final result of the whole thing is yet to be seen, but needless to say it made for a far more exciting date night than we anticipated. Lesson learned: all that physics information about transfer of momentum was quite accurate. (The seatbelts work.)

In the midst of all of it, God reminded me that health is a gift, and to thank Him more regularly for it. (Lesson learned: don't forget to thank Him immediately after you get better... like I did today until I wrote that sentence.)

If, dear reader, you are still with me, you are doubtless wondering why I'm addressing you, and most particularly why I'm using the trite, over-the-top, and absurdly overused "dear reader" appellation. I'm afraid you will find no answers here. You're simply going to have to get used to it. (I'll leave you wondering whether I plan to keep up the absurdity. You'll be waiting with unbridled expectation for the next post just to find out, I'm sure.)

Lesson learned: pudding is good. (That was for free.)

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